The psychological impact of food battles in children

Keeping mealtimes happy and relaxed is important for both children and adults. What are they like in your home? Are you struggling with picky eaters or kids who seem to play with their food instead of eating? Children of different ages have quite different eating styles and habits. Much of this is linked to the way they are growing and developing.

Young children

Between the ages of ten to twelve months, toddler's growth slows down. That means they may not eat as much as before. This is okay. They become interested in the things around them and not as interested in food. They are also learning to say "No." Sometimes they choose not to eat to be in control.

This is an enjoyable time for them to get started with family meals, offering three meals per day plus snacks every 2-3 hours in between. Many toddlers do not like new foods at first. This is part of learning. Most children learn to like new foods over time.

Pre-schoolers

Pre-schoolers are learning to eat with forks and spoons. When they are hungry, they may go back to eating with their hands. You may find they are fussy about things, such as eating sandwiches that are cut in triangles or only drinking from a certain colour of cup.

Sitting down to a large plate filled with food looks like a big job to a child. Give young children small servings of food on child size plates. A good rule of thumb is a tablespoon serving of each food per year of age. For example, a serving of carrots for a three-year-old would be three tablespoons. They can always ask for more if they are still hungry.

Who is in charge?

Adults oversee what, when, and where the children eat. It is best to feed infants when they are hungry. Serve regular meals and snacks to toddlers, pre-schoolers, and school-age children.

Children oversee whether they eat and how much. Keep in mind that healthy hungry children will eat.

However, it is easy to see how a cycle can develop. So, the less the child eats the less they want to eat and then they just spiral down into a semi starving cycle. This escalates stress in the parent and this in turn increases pressure on the child. Eventually the child / parent relationship is resorted to a feeder- feeding - refuser - forcer relationship.

As a parent you start to freak out as mealtime approaches and the minute your child is sued that they are about to be fed they start resisting. The one meal runs into the next and before you know it you have spent the entire day trying to feed and your child has spent the entire day trying to resist food. Both of you missed quality parent -child time.